I know many of you have waited ever so patiently for a while now to know the results of our first test. But to be honest, this was so much harder than I anticipated. It was so hard to work through the emotions, the thoughts, and the questions.

We really do love you guys and appreciate the support we have received so far.

So here we go….

Day 14…. after waiting the two weeks that seemed like a lifetime, the day was finally here! Can I just say that 14 days takes a million years? Well, it seemed like it anyway!

But I have amazing friends that helped me pass the time! We quilted, made bread,  and had lunch. I also had a church meeting,  and hung out with my mom. The 10th of May is our wedding anniversary, so David and I celebrated. If it wasn’t for friends, David and my mom – I’m not sure I would have been able to wait that long!

I woke up Saturday morning at 4am – I mean, who can sleep at a time like that!? Three years of work, frustration, happiness, sadness, worry, anxiety, depression, ups and downs – it comes down to peeing on a stick…..and then of course waiting for a couple of minutes which seem like an eternity.

I didn’t wake David, because I wanted to process emotions alone first. That might not make any sense to some, and to others, it may make tons of sense. I wanted to prepare myself mentally, emotionally, physically,  and spiritually in the event it was negative or positive.

Through these past three years, I only took one pregnancy test, and that was a negative. I didn’t take another one after that because it literally felt like a punch in the gut. That was a feeling that I didn’t want to experience in front of David.

So, I woke up, peed on the stick, and waited. WHY does it seem to take an eternity in those few short minutes?

After waiting, I stood and looked at the test probably for another eternity. I was really kicking myself for not getting the ones that said “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant”!

Now, I’ve not been around a lot of tests before, so I had no idea if what I was reading was accurate. Do you see how light that is?! How is anyone supposed to know for sure if that is a positive or negative!? With not knowing anything and not wanting to get my hopes up – I went back to sleep.

David woke me up a couple of hours later and asked if I had taken a test yet. I fibbed to him and said that I forgot to buy some. (See that innocent smile? That’s exactly what I looked like.)

He jumped up, and went to a local store to get some. When he came back, I wished I would have told him because he bought the exact kind that I already used. haha

While he was away, I texted my mom and a couple of close friends and my cousin to see what their opinions were. They all have children and have taken test.

My mom was like me, unsure to say one way or the other with fear of getting our hopes up, etc. My friends/cousin came back unanimous – that it was a positive. My one dear friend even changed the photo to better show me.

When David did come back and put the newly purchased test on the counter, I told him that I fibbed. That I did take a test at 4 and showed it to him. He was as confused as I was!?

So he made another quick trip to the store and picked up the ones that said “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant”.  We both agreed that it was a no fail situation then!

Of course, the time came and I couldn’t go to the bathroom. Who can pee on demand!? Not this girl! So we had to wait – you’ve got that right, for what seemed like an eternity.  Then it hit me, I gotta go!

So I did the routine again. I peed on the stick, and then we waited – yes for what seemed like an eternity. haha 

Then the most magical thing happened……..words appeared on the screen…

When I read that – I shouted so loudly I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t hear me. David was pretty excited too! I called the doctor’s office and left a message. Much to my surprise they called me back and scheduled a blood test for Monday morning. They said if I went before lunch that I would have the results back the same day! – Holy smokes, the same day!

While we were both sitting there talking about how our futures would change. I may have almost gave David a panic attack. I raised the question about what if it was twins!?

Before I started laughing so hard I almost cried, I was able to quickly snap a picture of David right after I said that. Seriously the funniest expression – EVER! Followed by him stating that he was too young to have kids. *insert eye roll*  Yes, HUGE eye roll because he’s almost 40! haha

The rest of the day we were pretty happy. He went to work on a project in the basement, and I started making lists. I’m a woman who knows what I want, how I want it, and where things should be. David admires that about me, especially since I had our entire wedding planned/scheduled within a couple of months.

Sunday rolls around and I just wasn’t feeling that it was true. So, what is a girl to do? Take another test! The third one – also confirmed a positive!

You know, seeing those three test together just didn’t seem real to me. Is that bizarre? Am I broken? I guess just after all the months of let downs, I just wasn’t sure if I could believe it.

Monday comes, I am so anxious about this blood work – I get there 30 minutes early. – You know, in true Leah fashion. I prayed a lot in the car that morning. I prayed for mostly was comfort for whatever the outcome was going to be.

The time finally arrived and I go in, David didn’t take off work since it was just blood work. And to be honest, he gets kind of squirmy with stuff like that.

So, speaking of blood work – who has the worst veins on the planet? Yep…. this girl! You know, when praying for all that comfort, I should have added to help the nurse find a vein!

Guess how many nurses and sticks it took to find one? One? Two? Three? Yep – it took three nurses and probably four sticks to find a vein. When the second nurse went to find someone else, I honest to goodness prayed about them finding a vein. I’m sure that is probably the most bizarre prayer request, but I just wanted them to have the little amount of blood they needed to find the truth!

The last nurse found a vein, she said I have very deep veins. I thought her statement was funny – “It’s deep but it’s a juicy one!” Oh how I chuckled at that.

I checked out, and was on my way to wait for the phone call. I’m hanging out with super awesome friends, patiently waiting for this phone call.

Annnnnnd they finally called! I could tell when she was talking to me that she was smiling. She said – “You’re definitely pregnant!”  I instantly teared up. We set up an ultrasound for the 30th of the month and we said our goodbyes.

On the way home driving from my friend’s house, it hit me pretty hard. I started thinking about my Dad and how much I wish he was here to share this with him. I was crying so hard, I had to pull over.

Then a calm fell over me and I immediately thought back to the Tuesday before I took the test. I went to the temple by myself to reflect, pray, and listen. That day was particularly beautiful.

What struck me the most about that day, was I remember sitting and crying being overwhelmed by the spirit. Then out of no where, I felt what I can best describe as love. I felt so much love sitting there that it almost took my breath away.

And as I was sitting in the car, remembering those feelings, it hit me. That love was from my Dad and my grandparents. It’s almost as if they knew before I did and wanted me to feel their love and happiness. The temple is such a special place, it brings me such comfort, peace and joy to be able to attend.

Oh, how I miss my Dad and his insane ability to make me laugh even when I had zero desire to. I know how much he wanted this for me and how excited he would be if he was here. I could only imagine us both crying to each other in happiness. I am comforted in the fact that I’ll see him again one day.

Now the hard part was coming – waiting three weeks until the ultrasound AND not telling anyone about our awesome news!

Watch out for our next post about the ultrasound and how I passed the time during that long wait.

Until then,

Leah