This has been an interesting adventure so far. I have learned a lot and grown even more so.

First, I must admit that from a guy point of view, I have seen things much differently. I’ll let any ladies reading this in on a little secret. We, men, see ourselves as being still in our “prime”. For some strange reason we feel like we are twenty when we are pushing forty. And, I see no signs that our perception of youthfulness changes any as we age.

This is why there are YouTube videos, by the thousands, of men old enough to know better, falling out of trees they shouldn’t be climbing, trying to rail grind their son’s skate board and going head first over bicycle handle bars…. I may be the star of one of those videos….

 Watch the video and be ready to laugh…..a lot! Thanks Leah for putting music to it and making it even more spectacular.

**I’m ok….my face broke my fall.**

I don’t feel as a man, we have that internal clock that women do. I don’t want that to sound bad, I want kids and the sooner the better. With each passing month that we failed, I didn’t feel the pressure mounting. It was always, “Don’t worry, we will try again next month!” I had a hard time seeing it from Leah’s perspective.

I know when it all changed, there were several things that “opened” my eyes to exactly how Leah was feeling. The first was when that time of the month arrived – when good ol’ mother nature let you know if you’re pregnant or not.

Don’t get me wrong, every time we found out we were not pregnant and Leah was sad… so was I. But, I would say, “Don’t worry, next month will be different!” And for the longest time my optimism for a positive outcome next month was enough to keep Leah in a less depressed mood.

Over the last few months, I noticed I couldn’t pull this off anymore. All the positive vibes, all the hugs and foolishness that would usually work, just ended with her being in tears and I off to work sad. Sad not only for our failed attempts,  but for the unwarranted blame she was putting on herself.

The second thing that stood out to me happened whenever we were around family. Whether it was in Kentucky with her family or in Cincinnati with mine. I noticed something every time.

Married guys know how to read their wives – it’s a gift.

We use it as a tool to save us grief. But on rare occasions, we use it for reasons less selfish.

I noticed that whenever we were around our nieces and nephews there was always a big smile on her face, but now there was something more. That smile was also trying to conceal the sadness that I saw in her eyes that wasn’t there before — I’m sure of that.

These two discoveries pointed me in the direction that it was time to get serious.

We began talking not only with each other, but with her OBGYN. I was agreeable  that taking that next step to the infertility doctor needed to happen soon.

If there is any advice I can give to couples going through the same challenges as we are, it’s this — ladies, try not to get upset with your guy.  We are a little dense when it comes to the emotional side of women…but you probably already knew this.  We try to we mean well, but at times we just don’t know what to do.

And guys, try to be more understanding. Talking things out can help so much! Be observant and try to pick up on things that might be too much for her to talk about. Also, when the time feels right — bring up those things and talk about it!

Remember though – a stupid joke or acting out a scene from your favorite Three Stooges episodes may make you feel better…..it probably won’t her! Just save those for a more appropriate time – you know like your anniversary dinner.

Take care of yourselves & each other,

David