After the first month, the doctor wanted David to be tested and for me to have a hysterosalpingogram, otherwise known as HSG and a pelvic ultrasound. The test for David would rule out problems with his swimmers, and the test for me would rule out any issues with my fallopian tubes and uterus.

Test number 1 – Semen Analysis  – (I promise to keep it PG) 🙂

The following day I was on a mission to make an appointment for David. The info that the receptionist gave us at first was wrong. I called the number to a hospital on the west side of Cincinnati. Bless the lady’s heart who answered the phone, you could tell I was making her nervous/uncomfortable with questions.  — I mean, I was asking about a semen analysis test… who wouldn’t be awkward with those questions? Ha

After that awkward conversation, I resorted to utilizing Google! (Do we see a pattern here? I rely on Google waaaaaaaaay too much!) I was on a search for labs who could perform this test. I found a local lab that was less than 10 minutes away and thought – Hooray, perfect! I made the appointment via their online setup and then called and left a message to confirm and ask specific questions.

My first warning sign should have been when they never returned my call to verify and answer my questions.

Yep…this is where you’re thinking – I would have called again or called my doctor.  Should we be surprised by this next tid bit?  ……….. They never called and the day finally arrived.

I am going to be the first to tell you – David and I were completely clueless as what this experience/process was going to be. – I bet you’re thinking, “Why didn’t she Google it?” –  So like the newbies we were, we walked right into the designated office, signed in and waited. We were supposed to bring the “sample” with us in a container provided by the doctor – well, we didn’t. To be honest, we didn’t even have a container.

At this point I was kicking myself for not calling back to my doctor and verifying the number they gave me. SIGH

We finally gave the “sample” to the tech. She took all our information, and then had a puzzled look on her face and sighed. – This is where David wanted to kick me too! This task is already embarrassing without the addition of not knowing zilch about this process – She stated that the lab needed this “sample” within 40 minutes, but they wouldn’t be getting it until tomorrow.

The shrug of her shoulders, coupled with our complete lack of knowledge resulted in us leaving and thinking all is well.

After about 3 weeks the results were finally sent to my doctor. She laughed when she looked at them and asked what kind of lab we went too. I told her of the experience and she said, that they did the wrong test! GRRR They did a test that one would have after having a vasectomy. — (this is where I rolled my eyes and we both had a good chuckle)

Onward to another test and this time it was at the right facility, with the right lab, with the right results! Everything is well 🙂

Test number 2: HSG

The HSG test was performed at the hospital near her office, with what seemed like enough people to have a party. Who brought the snacks? 🙂

I’m not kidding, there was the doctor of radiology, my doctor, 2 techs and a partridge in a pear tree.

Ok, ok so the last part isn’t true, but it was funny – I had an audience. And it wasn’t the setting where you want an audience!

The test itself wasn’t horrible. Was it uncomfortable and crampy? Yes!  There was some mild cramping but it was over in a couple of minutes. Even though while lying there with the party in the room, it felt like FOOOORRREEEVVVEERRR!

My tubes were all in working order and we were a “go for launch”.

Test number 3: Pelvic Ultrasound

This test she wanted to have completed to ensure that my uterus was ok and ready to pack a baby around.

When I walked in the room, it was dimly lit – it felt like the beginnings to something romantic. Yes, I do realize that they need the room a bit darker to see the screen, etc. But remember – I’m finding humor in all things, otherwise stress/anxiety would bring Cruella out all the time! David doesn’t need that – so we laugh!

The test was relatively quick and painless and the tech was as silent as a mouse during the entire thing. I think I would have preferred if she chatted me up. I get it, she was concentrating and ensuring that she did her job to get the images that the doctor expected.

The results showed that my uterus was fabulous, per my doctor. She might not have used “fabulous”, but you get the idea.

Stayed tuned for our diagnosis and those scary two words.

Leah